(The following is an excerpt of a devotional piece I wrote for my mom to share at her ladies bible study. It was her turn to lead bible study and she did her topic on depression and mental illness. She asked me to write something to share with the group.)
Imagine having a pain so deep that no x-ray could see, no human finger could touch. Imagine that there was no immediate relief for that deep pain, that even with medication it was not instantly cured, but that the ache went through not just bones and cartlage but the very soul. Now imagine trying to convey that pain to your loved ones, imagine how it would be when you could not form the right words instead the only way you could convey the pain is in tears and anger and the overwhelming desire to end your life just to get relief.
Now imagine trying to reach out to people because really you don't want to end your life however the pain is to much so in an attempt to live you try to seek help ... and instead of being heard you are either chastised for the way you are feeling, judged, labeled, belittled, and left to feel as though you have failed God. Analyzed and handed more medicine and ultimately left to yourself to deal with the pain that feels as though you have been dropped off into hell alone.
This is what depression has been like for me and how I often have been treated by others. The one place one would think that they could come to, to find relief, a safe place should be church however in my experience that is not the case. Actually my pain was made worse by being told that I was letting the devil torment me or that I was just trying to get attention. And I was often left to feel as though I had failed God and that I was evil for feeling the way I was feeling. Which left me to suffer alone! I grew angry with God and with people and resented church.
A person who is going through depression needs to know that they are cared for and their feelings do count. The one thing that has helped me is to have someone who allowed me to truthfully vent these feelings of deep grief and pain no matter how horrible it may have sounded yet to not be judged and not told that I was being evil or lacking in faith helped me to be able to deal with such deep pain instead of throwing me in a deeper pit of despair!
Just as the story about Elijah in 1 Kings 19 (which is the first recorded mental health triage in which God performed) so should we do for each other. Often a person who is depressed needs help with basic things like food and rest, and then the opportunity to vent, and the opportunity to hear the truth.
A kind word and a hug can mean the world to someone who is suffering!
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